Facebook, Do not update me on your stupid stuff! and other rants!

okay, I DO NOT CARE about your pig collection, heart beats, or how you grow weed on Farmville to sell to your sugear daddy on Mafia Wars! ENOUGH ALREADY! I hate hate hate when people post their dumb status updates for all of their lame-ass games. "I just made it to the 300th crystal level of Jewel Blitz, I am rad!" Let's just be honest here, NO ONE CARES!!!!!!! Oh and enough with the constant, boring drizzle of everyone's updates, "I just brushed my teeth!" or "I cooked spicy chili!" or "My 3 year old can read encyclopedias and yours can't!" Puleeeez! It is so annoying. Facebook is stricly for spying on people you secretly hate, ie, your BFFS.  I laugh at the amount of so called, "friends" everyone has, it is all a new way to go back to junior high and this time try to do better than when you were an acne clad, scrunchie wearing, thirteen year old. I admit, I am somewhat addicted to checking, FB. That doesn't mean that I can't see it for what it really is....BS. I see popular people from high school calling total "nerd"s , "still so beautiful", HA! You never even laid eyes on that person all 4 years of high school and now publicly you pretend to be best buddies because it makes you look nice and releives some guilt from being a total bonch! It is laughable. And you feel like you have to comment on statuses all of the time, because everyone else is doing it. people complain, "Oh so and so didn't comment on my Grandma dying, what a bitch!" Guess what? Maybe so and so doesn't constantly check their live news feed every hour and didn't realize your Grandmother kicked the bucket. COME ON! And the photo posting, all the perfectly photo-shopped pics of you and your precious kids.  YUCK! Show me something real, I dare you! Enough ranting for now, my 2 month old is crying, my 2 year old is beating up on my 4 year old, now crying too! fun.

I am ADDICTED to QVC...

Okay, scary, I know. I am not a crazy cat lady in my sixties, afraid to leave the house and buying feline scratch posts from the latest infomercial. I am a fairrly hip, thirty-something chick that cannot stop watching QVC. It is, for me,  like a train wreck, crack, hot sex, lottery tickets, and more all rolled up into a 24-7 tv channel that I cannot turn away from. Not only do I watch, but I shop too! I buy it all. They can make the most lame, mundane product sound like the most must-have item on earth! Is there a support group out there? QVC Annonymous anyone? I purchase things I never knew I needed, 3 frying pans in aqua blue that match the kitchen counter tops that I actaully hate. Various clothes from Denim and co. that I found heinous at first glance but slowly got reeled into their schpeel and now believe I am fashion forward. Oh and don't even get me started on the cosmetics. I NEED that stuff. I buy hundred dollar wrinkle cream when I still constantly get carded. I buy the latest Hollywood makeup when I barely have time for chapstick. My hair craves their volumizing spray, my eyes need , "bullet-proof" (what?) eyeliner, my lips need gloss that will never wash off! When the carboard boxes line up on my front porch I feel vindicated, happy, relaxed and broke. But I have a new friend in the UPS guy and lots and lots of new, shiny stuff!

Dear Diary?

Wow! I am actually a blogger...it feels weird, almost cathardic. Why do people blog? For real? I suppose it is cheaper than a psychiatrist or therapist visit. Maybe there is a hope that one's poetic waxings will swoop them into a cloud of lucriative fame and fortune. I don't know. As to why I am doing it? All of the above. I used to be a writer, or have time to write, never professionally but it was something I was invested in. Now as a crazy-busy Mom of 3 kids 4 years and under, I never find the time. This whole internet ready thing will make it easier, I hope! I have a lot to say...my life for the most part is strangely hilarious...almost like a bad B movie or a pilot for a sitcom that never makes it to network television. Yes, it's that good.